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If you’re going to be dating in a culture other than your own, you need to try to meet the other person halfway.Plus, Korean guys think it’s just so damn cute when you’re learning Korean and if they don’t, that’s also a red signal.Now, some of you don’t know me but I don’t dress provocatively. Yes it is harsh, but I find it’s also something that women in AMWF relationships on the blogosphere don’t write about enough.
It’s not that I had come to Korea obsessed with K-Pop and K-Dramas and wanting my own recreation of that sort of dynamic. It had happened to so many of us and it happened so regularly that we just figured it was a normal thing. I told this to my Korean girlfriend and she gave me a sort of sad, I feel-sorry-for you look. “If someone is doing that to you, it’s unacceptable behavior.” Bam!
Watching shows like Eat Your Kimchi might help a tiny bit but in my experience nothing helped better than reading and having good Korean friends.
The book that prepared me the best for my move to South Korea was without a doubt Korea: Impossible Country by Daniel Tudor.
But the truth is that when I have dated, both in Seattle and abroad, it’s almost always been with Asian males. We all know that motivations are always this abstract, jumbled mess of things. I tutored Asian ESL students when I was a university student, both male and female and I always admired and respected how hard they worked.
They were doing what I was doing but they were doing it in a language totally foreign to them and while living far away from their family and friends in a culture that was totally new to them.