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When there are more than two, it gets a lot more complicated. Especially in modern society where traditional dating rituals are quickly being deemed old-fashioned and uncool, and people are more inclined to just go with the flow.Such a thing is not a realistic option with multiple partners, which requires a greater level of transparency upfront and necessitates constant communication.But café girl goes out of town for two weeks on Friday.Do you wait two weeks and risk the fizzle, or talk to your partner about making an exception?Do not be fooled into believing that the option to love and be loved by more than one human makes non-monogamy easy. Perhaps the parties involved agree that the monogamous partner will continue to practice monogamy while the non-monogamous partner is free to practice a form of non- monogamy.It may feel like a more natural state of being, but nevertheless, as with all interpersonal relationships, hard work is not only expected but required. Example: I dated a man who was monogamous by nature, and was so with me, but was comfortable with my having a girlfriend in addition to our relationship, even though my relationship with her did not involve him [read: no threesomes.] On the other hand, perhaps the parties involved will form a compromise that looks more like one partner converting over to the other’s way of being.You won’t love or sleep with anyone else, and neither will I. Once possession is removed, the love between two or more people is no longer defined by what they will not do with others, but by what they actually feel and have together.

Not to knock the merits or challenges of monogamy, but where time management, jealousy and trust are concerned, non-monogamous folk have a bit of a fuller plate, if I must say so myself.

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